Speak Up & Shine!

Resistance usually comes from fear in some shape (anxiety, worry, caution, or outright panic). But sometimes fear is a false alarm. It’s just our “ancient brain” or “reptilian brain” telling us to watch out. That’s how we’re wired – and have been since cave people days.

Consider the possibility that YOUR anxiety or fearful feeling may be just a physical response to making a change. So it’s not about logic. It’s not about strength of character. It’s just your brain and body doing a perfectly normal thing.

Here’s How It Works

The oldest part of your brain is always working to protect you. ALWAYS. Our systems are designed to keep us safe. Great! And the best way to stay safe is to follow familiar, known paths where you’ve already seen there is no danger.

So when something new comes up, your brain fires up warnings, saying, “Red alert!” Your glands respond by preparing you to fight, flee or freeze. Now you’re all charged up with adrenaline so you’re physically able to fight or flee if you need to. You’re all ready to deal with a life-threatening event.

Your body is mobilized to help you out, but that pounding heart and trembling from adrenaline have some not-so-great consequences. You’re more likely to feel excitable, jumpy, anxious, and irritable. If you’re facing a life-threatening situation, that’s no big deal. But if it’s just a false alarm, those feelings are a problem.

When It’s A False Alarm

It’s easy to think that fight-or-flight response applies only to real threats to your safety. But recent research shows that you experience this response any time you encounter a situation that is new or in some way challenging. – or even think about it! The response might be at a low level, but it happens to everyone in some form.

That old reptilian brain kicks in with the perfect solution by telling you: “Don’t change a thing. Stop what you’re doing (or thinking about doing). Stick to what you know. Don’t try anything new. That’s the way to get rid of your discomfort.”

Can you see the problem here? This means that your most natural response to trying anything new (including speaking up), is to resist it. Your brain and body are designed to back you up in resisting.

The Good News

It doesn’t have to stay like this. You can re-train your body and mind. Here’s how:

• Acknowledge your uncomfortable emotions. Denial doesn’t make them go away. And self-blame just increases the problem.
• Accept your resistance as a natural human process— even be grateful for it!
• Gently push past the urge to stop and go ahead with your new plan.

Each time you do this, you’re training your brain to accept your NEW behavior as familiar. That means the next time your flight-or-fight response won’t be as big. Your resistance won’t be as big. You’re forming new neural pathways in your brain – new roadmaps. Now you’ll have it in your own experience, your own history, that your new venture can be survived. Excellent!

A Bigger Challenge

Sometimes effectively dealing with fear is more complicated. If you have past experiences that fortify your fear response, it may take more than gentle pushing past resistance. Here’s where mind-body techniques like EFT can be so helpful – to actually eliminate the cause of that larger fear. It’s the rapid-change technique I use with my clients to become relaxed speakers.

What do you think? I’d love to hear from you. And if I can help you become a fearless speaker, give me a call at 805-203-5136 and let’s discuss how we can get started.

When you’re shopping, you want to be confident that what you’re buying will deliver good value. You want to be sure that it will take care of your problem. Right?

Well, your clients want to feel that assurance, too. When they’re considering your services and products, they want to feel pretty certain that you can help them. These days people are being even choosier about who they spend their money with. They want to bet on a sure thing. So you need to let them know they’re not gambling when they invest with you. You want them to feel confident.

How do you do that?

First, you can follow the instructions of marketing maestros: lead with benefits, focus on the customer instead of yourself, use great copywriting techniques, etc.

Next, you need to loan them YOUR confidence. That’s right. When you’re confident about what you offer, your audience picks up on that. It helps them to relax a little. So you need to be able to speak about your programs and services and products in a self-assured way — whether in person, on the phone, from the stage, or in your writing. And that means coming across as powerful and clear, but relaxed.

Yes – relaxed. That’s the vibe underneath it all that helps people trust you and what you’re talking about. Because here’s the deal: If you’re nervous, you’re transmitting anxiety.Your listener picks up on that energy, but they don’t know what it’s about. All they know is there’s discomfort in the air.

They react to YOUR discomfort with more of the same. Then they try to determine the cause of THEIR discomfort. And chances are good that they’ll decide it’s because there’s a problem with you or with what you’re offering.

Now here’s the REAL problem: This can cause them to look somewhere else for their solutions. You may have just what they need – their ideal answer, but your nervousness interferes with getting that message across.

What to do

• Pay attention to what your marketing mentors have to say, and follow their guidelines.
• Practice talking about what you do and what you offer until you’re completely familiar with it.
• Learn how to relax when you’re talking about your business, your prices and your successes.
• Take whatever steps are necessary to eliminate your fears about all these aspects of your business.

Without that anxiety, your enthusiasm and passion can show. Your real love for what you do can shine through! When you’re relaxed and confident, your clients can feel relaxed and confident, too — sure that you’re the perfect person to work with.

What helps you to feel calm and confident?